The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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