Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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