well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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