so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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