You made me cry and you don't even care
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
