Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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