New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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