so explain again why im purple
no
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
