I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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