What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
