hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
