i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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