...so i touched it.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
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Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
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I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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