Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
