We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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