i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
its liver damage thursday
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
