She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
