Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
