Just fell off a train. Bad.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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