OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
lets start a swedish sibling band together
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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