guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
