No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
