Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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