The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize