Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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