i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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