she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
