I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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