Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
