I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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