I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Randomize
