matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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