Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
