is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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