The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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