hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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