if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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