Having a random hookup so left but love u
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
