Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
