turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
