Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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