Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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