My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He did a backflip because drugs
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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