Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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