When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
apparently the secret to your success is patron
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
