When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
