after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize