Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize