and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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