You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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