what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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