This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
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My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
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National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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