dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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