well you can't waste a boner
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
