I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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