some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
