Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
